One of the hardest things you will ever do is be genuinely kind to yourself. As humans, our brains are hardwired to constantly look out for danger, remember the unpleasant and be vigilant for negatives. The brain has a negativity bias, but the human brain also has an advantage that no other living species possesses, and that advantage is to imagine, to dwell on something pleasant and to cultivate gratitude.
Keeping a simple gratitude diary, to dwell on pleasant experiences everyday, to have a vocabulary for pleasant emotions is a good start.
Some every day simple habits to cultivate self care :
Have a vocabulary for pleasant emotions, yes, name them- happy, content, belonged, secure.
Keep a pleasant events diary- record what was pleasant during the day and name the emotion along with situation, physical sensations and thoughts about that event, It could be something as simple as spotting a beautiful bird in your backyard.
Create/ schedule an activity that aligns with your goal or value. Eg eating healthy today, visiting a friend.
Set small tasks rather than aiming for drastic changes. For example, rather than aiming for eating healthy throughout the week, start with making a healthy lunch choice for that day.
Remember to take small mindful breathing moments as you progressively relax your muscles.
Himani Bhatia
Registered Psychologist
Assoc MAPS